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Morrissey, the Autobiography and the edit...not a true story...

Well, for a question of integrity I got to say that all the things I'm going to writing are just a product of a mental patience....me. I got to add that I'm not related, as an Author or co- Author with the famous blog "Following the Mozziah" or the more famous blog"MorrisseysWorld", I use to read them daily and post comments, that's all. Well, let's start: I imagine the Seminal Artist Morrissey coming back home, his home, but it is very hard imagine where this home could be..., ringing to his bell supposing his personal assistant, personal hairdresser, personal best friend on the payroll, should immediatly come to open the door, but sadly, Damon the barber, is busy in the kitchen hiding a large piece of soppressata calabra, something he can't eat in front of Morrissey, but he could eat all alone having paradisiac visions...Morrissey opens the door with his own key, comes in  shouting:"Damon, what are you fecking doing, where are you?" Damon appears:"Always following you Sir!" "Well" Morrissey is going to say something very rilevant:" Today, we got to work hardly Damon" "As usual baby" says Damon and Morrissey looks at him severe:" Mother is sleeping upstair, close your mealy mouth, please!" "Yes sir"replies Damon"Sorry Sir, we got to write, re write, edit, reiessue repackge, something?" "As usual baby!" replies Morrissey smiling. "Soorry sir" now Damon has a tremoulous voice" May I suggest to use your brand new p.c. instead of the to noisy write machine?" " You look cleaver Damon!" this is Morrissey's answer. Both the men come in the office Damon at the keyboard and the seminal Artist on the sofa, "I'm ready sir!" Morrissey is embarassed, but suddenly his Irish blood Manchunian heart comes out and he rants" Oh Damon, you could never imagine what we are going to write now, what that silly presumptuous editor demands to me!",Damon: " I know very well what we got to write and I'm glad to help you! As I said to you many times, we got to write about you and a woman, we got to invent a romance with a woman, because women read more books than men, buy more books than men and last but not least buy the Christmas presents, exactly like your mum and your sister!" The seminal Artist is surprised and moans:"And what we could write me and you about a woman Mister Calabrian Saudita?" Damon:" We could write about Nico-Tina" Morrissey rolling his eyes:"Nico what? My muse Nico is dead years ago in Ibiza and I got no intention to write about the pain and the alchool i drunk in that goddamned summer!" Damon" I think to write just a small paragraphe about the time you lived all alone in a luxury estate in West Hollywood and having no inspiration for new songs you secretly started to smoke and so "My early Burglary Years" and "You are the Quarry" were born, you thanked her simply as Tina, exactly as we will do by now, am I useful Sir?" Morrissey replies with two or three words very, very, private. Later Damon the Barber will send via e-mail a copy of the final edition of the Autobiography one for the steady scrutineer in London and another one for the American editor, but for an accident, in the second one he removed some little things about a photographer from Battersea, nothing very important and he could, eventually, say it was a Julia's mistake.